Another update

By | 8th January 2007

Another night, another reason for Hannah to stay in hospital.

After being told unexpectedly at around 11am that she needed a chest x-ray and discussing it with me Hannah waited for the doctor to come back to talk to her about it. Then she waited a bit more. Eventually a different doctor came round on his ward round and saw her at nearly 7pm.

He agreed that it is unlikely that it is a PE, but said that he would be negligent if he didn’t strongly advise that she went ahead with the chest x-ray and the CTPA scan. After some resistance, she agreed to go ahead but got very upset because she had thought that she would be able to come home today. The x-ray and scan won’t be until tomorrow now. Fortunately the same midwife that was on duty this evening is back on in the morning and has promised to make sure that things are expedited.

I rushed home via ASDA with Hannah’s mum, wolfed a microwave chilli and picked up some more things to make Hannah’s stay a bit easier. The ward she’s on is insanely hot, so something cooler to wear was at the top of the list. She seemed more accepting of her fate when I got back, but all that crumbled somewhat when it was time for me to come home. She hates being in hospital and is desperate to come home.

She got rather tearful but after a few minutes I was able to leave her there. She had turned around to shuffle back down the corridor to her bed when I made a terrible mistake. I tapped on the window to wave goodnight and she spun around, eyes wide and face hopeful and came trotting back obviously hoping that I’d changed my mind and was going to take her home. It was like a cross between a small child and a puppy and seeing it was a horrible feeling. It was quite literally gut-wrenching, causing a horrible twisting sensation in the pit of my stomach and the image has stayed with me all the way home until now and makes me feel horribly guilty whenever I think about it. Silly really, she’s only a few miles away in a hospital but it feels like I abandoned her by a remote roadside or something.

Still, all being well, she’ll be out tomorrow.

Night night.

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